"You missed my baby!"
"The scariest thing of all is that John Sharp has learned how to text message."
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Future of Texas Politics
I'd like to take the opportunity of a web forum all to myself (Elizabeth's picking up her cousin at the airport, so I stole the computer and told Emily I was checking my email 145 times) to address a troubling rumor once and for all:
Patrick Rose and Mark Strama are not the same person.
I mean, that would be ridiculous, right? Though it is a widely accepted fact that Patrick Rose is a politician of such high caliber and campaigning know-how that he could feasibly have been elected to two different seats in the same year, I have difficulty believing that he would create a political alter ego, use that alter ego to establish a Campaign Academy, and not call that academy "Patrick Rose Campaign Boot Camp." Therefore, using my intern's intuition and the philosophical principle of Occam's Razor, I have come to what I believe is a simple and elegant conclusion:
Patrick Rose is Mark Strama's younger self, sent forward in time to serve Texas right when it needs him the most.
If you think about it, the signs are many: Patrick Rose is younger than Mark Strama. Mark is married and has a daughter; Patrick Rose has not yet been married, and does not have any children. Patrick Rose drives a DeLorean and has watched every single installment of I Love the 80s.
Look, I'm not saying that if you busted into Mark's capitol office and ripped up the floorboards, you would find the portal to the fourth dimension that was used to bring Patrick Rose into the 21st century.
But I'm also not saying that you wouldn't.
Patrick Rose and Mark Strama are not the same person.
I mean, that would be ridiculous, right? Though it is a widely accepted fact that Patrick Rose is a politician of such high caliber and campaigning know-how that he could feasibly have been elected to two different seats in the same year, I have difficulty believing that he would create a political alter ego, use that alter ego to establish a Campaign Academy, and not call that academy "Patrick Rose Campaign Boot Camp." Therefore, using my intern's intuition and the philosophical principle of Occam's Razor, I have come to what I believe is a simple and elegant conclusion:
Patrick Rose is Mark Strama's younger self, sent forward in time to serve Texas right when it needs him the most.
If you think about it, the signs are many: Patrick Rose is younger than Mark Strama. Mark is married and has a daughter; Patrick Rose has not yet been married, and does not have any children. Patrick Rose drives a DeLorean and has watched every single installment of I Love the 80s.
Look, I'm not saying that if you busted into Mark's capitol office and ripped up the floorboards, you would find the portal to the fourth dimension that was used to bring Patrick Rose into the 21st century.
But I'm also not saying that you wouldn't.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Ex (blog)Post Facto
Oh.
My.
God.
The last couple weeks of Campaign Academy have successfully shown my true colors.
Red, white, and HOT PINK.
The woman inside is really a 13 year old girl.
After throughly flipping out when I received the email informing me that GOVERNOR HOWARD DEAN was scheduled to speak to the Academy, I wondered if anything could top that moment.
Well despite my best efforts to be coy, I had another tremble of admiration when I met the man himself. Emotions ran high as I casually introduced myself to Gov. Dean, and his assistant, Jeremy. As I led the pair to the calling room, I was embarrassed as I stumbled over my words and forgot to offer the pair a bottle of water or a 5-day-old doughnut from the coordinated campaign.
Actually hearing Dean speak was the best part of the whole ordeal. (Strange, I know.) He was genuinely enthusiastic about grassroots organization and political activism. The rhetoric was replaced with solutions and basic campaign ideas. For instance, new technology has made it possible for activists to print out campaign flyers, reordering topics to fit a particular constituency. Gov. Dean is so cool!
My.
God.
The last couple weeks of Campaign Academy have successfully shown my true colors.
Red, white, and HOT PINK.
The woman inside is really a 13 year old girl.
After throughly flipping out when I received the email informing me that GOVERNOR HOWARD DEAN was scheduled to speak to the Academy, I wondered if anything could top that moment.
Well despite my best efforts to be coy, I had another tremble of admiration when I met the man himself. Emotions ran high as I casually introduced myself to Gov. Dean, and his assistant, Jeremy. As I led the pair to the calling room, I was embarrassed as I stumbled over my words and forgot to offer the pair a bottle of water or a 5-day-old doughnut from the coordinated campaign.
Actually hearing Dean speak was the best part of the whole ordeal. (Strange, I know.) He was genuinely enthusiastic about grassroots organization and political activism. The rhetoric was replaced with solutions and basic campaign ideas. For instance, new technology has made it possible for activists to print out campaign flyers, reordering topics to fit a particular constituency. Gov. Dean is so cool!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Christine Pelosi Can Be My Campaign Drill Sergeant Any Day
Indication #472 that I might, in fact, have metamorphosed into the biggest nerd I know:
When Christine Pelosi comes to visit the Campaign Academy on Friday, sharing stories of conscience, conflict, and public policy, I become convinced over the course of an hour that she is the coolest person on the face of the earth.
Seriously, though, I challenge the internet to come to a different conclusion. We're talking about a lady willing to give us the downlow on what it takes to be a politician (complete belief in your cause, willingness to sacrifice wedding anniversaries for house parties and minor injuries), how to deal with being right but not being able to do anything about it ("I told you so" is not a policy, unless you have younger siblings), and the appropriate application of grandmothers to the political process (making phone calls and bickering over the nationalities of your constituents).
"She's so practical!" I gushed to fellow interns, who had by then politely moved on to the next speaker. It is moments like these-- when data entry makes me giddy, when I breathlessly exclaim to Howard Dean that his new voter registration strategies are "so statistically significant," when Scroll Down, Vote for Andy Brown strikes me as the epitome of cleverness-- that make me realize just how sad a place my brain has become.
But never mind all that. CHRISTINE PELOSI.
Not only does she have her very own Wikipedia entry and comprise approximately 20% of our blog's readership (the other 80% being me, Emily, Grant, and people hitting "I'm Feeling Lucky" on Google), but Pelosi served as John Tierney's chief of staff, has written a book called Campaign Boot Camp that is surprisingly not a biography of Mark Strama, and IS A SUPERDELEGATE. DID YOU KNOW THAT? She can also stop bullets. With her mind.
If you don't believe me, check Wikipedia. Hint hint.
When Christine Pelosi comes to visit the Campaign Academy on Friday, sharing stories of conscience, conflict, and public policy, I become convinced over the course of an hour that she is the coolest person on the face of the earth.
Seriously, though, I challenge the internet to come to a different conclusion. We're talking about a lady willing to give us the downlow on what it takes to be a politician (complete belief in your cause, willingness to sacrifice wedding anniversaries for house parties and minor injuries), how to deal with being right but not being able to do anything about it ("I told you so" is not a policy, unless you have younger siblings), and the appropriate application of grandmothers to the political process (making phone calls and bickering over the nationalities of your constituents).
"She's so practical!" I gushed to fellow interns, who had by then politely moved on to the next speaker. It is moments like these-- when data entry makes me giddy, when I breathlessly exclaim to Howard Dean that his new voter registration strategies are "so statistically significant," when Scroll Down, Vote for Andy Brown strikes me as the epitome of cleverness-- that make me realize just how sad a place my brain has become.
But never mind all that. CHRISTINE PELOSI.
Not only does she have her very own Wikipedia entry and comprise approximately 20% of our blog's readership (the other 80% being me, Emily, Grant, and people hitting "I'm Feeling Lucky" on Google), but Pelosi served as John Tierney's chief of staff, has written a book called Campaign Boot Camp that is surprisingly not a biography of Mark Strama, and IS A SUPERDELEGATE. DID YOU KNOW THAT? She can also stop bullets. With her mind.
If you don't believe me, check Wikipedia. Hint hint.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Too Cool for Netroots
It was day two of Netroots Nation for the Campaign Academy-- did anybody else know you had to register for this shindig?! Luckily, my escort off the premises was not a burly security guy (do they even have those at blogger conventions?) but fellow intern Matt Bell, and not before we achieved a quick fifteen minutes of fame: While circling Ballroom D yet again, my ardent political activism as expressed in the sentiment "Ooh, candy!" earned us the attention of a gentleman with Commonweal Institute, who promptly interviewed us for the group's podcast. In a great personal breakthrough, I managed to answer his questions using phrases other than "save me a Junior Mint."
Actually, today was a big one for me in terms of media savvy. Though perhaps not as illustrious as, say, a stint on 60 Minutes, this interview was excellent practice for me in crafting sound bytes and not using words commonly found on the SAT. I even worked in a reference to Bono.*
We've got an exciting day lined up tomorrow, even though that day is Saturday and technically our day off. It's like they say: No rest for the interns.
*I am so pop culture impaired that Bono is the only "cool" reference I know. I try to use it only once when meeting new people, in the hope that I will seem so cool in that moment that I will never have to prove myself again. This tends to fall apart when they discover that I've never heard "Smack That" and don't know what they're talking about when they start in on McDreamy and how cute Jim and Pam are.
Actually, today was a big one for me in terms of media savvy. Though perhaps not as illustrious as, say, a stint on 60 Minutes, this interview was excellent practice for me in crafting sound bytes and not using words commonly found on the SAT. I even worked in a reference to Bono.*
We've got an exciting day lined up tomorrow, even though that day is Saturday and technically our day off. It's like they say: No rest for the interns.
*I am so pop culture impaired that Bono is the only "cool" reference I know. I try to use it only once when meeting new people, in the hope that I will seem so cool in that moment that I will never have to prove myself again. This tends to fall apart when they discover that I've never heard "Smack That" and don't know what they're talking about when they start in on McDreamy and how cute Jim and Pam are.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
