Bringing Sexy Back

It should come as no surprise to the informed reader that, in working in Texas politics this summer, the word we interns hear more often than any other is "sexy."

"The smaller down-ballot races are not the sexy ones," one campaign manager told us during yesterday's lunch, while another guest speaker warned, "Some people don't think that life and liberty are very sexy."

Who knew that a dearth of sex appeal would be such an issue in down-ballot state races? In an attempt to redress this glaring problem, I have thoughtfully compiled a list of ways to "sexy up" your own bid for not-so-prestigious elected office:

Consider selecting "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake as your campaign song. Not only is it the definitive sexy pop anthem, but it also makes for a catchy attack ad through its assertion that your opponents "don't know how to act."

Send out mailers that feature your vacation pictures with Bono. Photoshop skills a plus.

Try to finagle an endorsement from the National Union of Victoria's Secret Models.

Don't lose heart, bottom-of-the-ballotters! Your fight for glamor and glitz has only just begun. Just remember: One campaign's "misunderstanding of the term 'sexy' in its application to local races" is another campaign's "calendar shoot."