It may be only our third day in session at Campaign Academy, but I want to let it be known that yours truly is already moving up in the world. Just yesterday, I was awarded the prestigious and coveted position of Volunteer Deputy Registrar in the State of Texas, County of Travis, meaning that not only am I charged with the task of registering Travis County voters whenever and wherever I find them, but I am practically insured against being shot by Eric Clapton. I'm still waiting for my posse and my shiny badge, which I am assured will not be coming in the mail, but in the meantime I thought I'd share a few voter registration tips that I learned from Glen Maxey, who was kind enough to drop by and anoint me yesterday afternoon:
- Make use of the hours between midnight and 4 am. Though hazy on specific policy details, the mildly inebriated can usually be persuaded to fill out voter registration forms. (Warning: First ensure that they are cogent enough to accurately recall their personal information; otherwise, you run the risk of registering voters whose social security number is "Miller Lite.")
- Remember that voter registration is clothing-optional. As we learned from Maxey's tales of registering "the most naked people in Travis County," the folks down in Hippie Hollow may believe strongly in asserting their right to public nudity, but that doesn't mean they don't also believe in casting ballots. If a situation arises that makes you uncomfortable as a registrar, consider plastering recalcitrant nudists with your candidates' bumper stickers. Turn It Blue, baby!
- In Travis County, spouses can register spouses, parents can register children, and children can register parents. Hey, Jimmy, if you write down Daddy's place of residence I'll give you a popsicle ...
Increased voter turnout is great and all, but I still won't be happy until they give me a shiny badge.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment